Jeweddingirl

I really like weddings - kind of an irony since while planning my own, I do my best to repeat my mantra: "It's just a five-hour party." (Nota Fiance: "Six, if you're doing it right.") It's not so much the wedding party itself - let's just say flowers are not my domain - but for me, the fun stuff is more the registering, guest-list-making, program-writing, etiquette part of it. Strange, I know, but if you know me, you know this.
This kind of love does not lend itself to being a good wedding planner, as some have suggested I try. I imagine you would want your wedding planner to care if you had hydrangeas (which I hate) or calla lilies (which I love. Hmmm, maybe I care more than I think...) But since I have nothing to do with this particular obsession, and I don't want to load my blog that people actually read with wedding crap, it seemed that this was something I could do during my very slow days leading up to my August nuptials. And so...Jewediquette! (Because, as we all know, Jewish weddings are a totally different ballgame...)

A note: I have zero qualifications to be giving advice. I feel I should mention that. However, people do ask me questions, so what the hell, right? So here are some recently asked questions, and my answers, mostly based on absolutely nothing but what I think:

Q: Fiance? Fiancee? I took Spanish in high school.
A: Simple French rule of thumb: One e means it's masculine. Two means it's feminine. I am his fiancee. He is my fiance. Done.

Q: Can I wear a white dress to someone else's wedding?
A: You never know what a bride's pet peeves are gonna be, so err on the side of caution. If you're close enough with the bride, just ask her if she minds, and encourage her to be truthful. If you're not, and you're really longing to wear your dress, try to pair it with a brightly colored and considerably non-bridal accessory, e.g. a shawl, metallic shoes, not-so-delicate jewelry. However, if your dress is long (i.e. longer than cocktail length) or made of a bridal or bridesmaid fabric (e.g. chiffon would be OK, lace or satin would not), it's a no-go. There are limits.

Q: Do I have to invite someone who invited me?
A: Who hasn't asked this question? Well, my answer may not be the safest but I feel OK about it. My feeling is that if you haven't spoken to them in over a year, and they in no way acknowledged your engagement, cut away.

Q: Do I have to get an engagement present, and a shower present, and a wedding present? Um, I'm poor.
A: Nope, only if you're going to the shower, yes.

Tune in next time for my favorite subject of all time...registries!