Feel better about it all

I took a couple of classes in NYU with this girl Lindsay, who for some reason was obsessed with wedding websites. She got me hooked on this website (no, not CalmKallahs - that was introduced to me by Ian Lieberman) that has a whole section for complaining called - you guessed it - Kvetch. I was reading it tonight and laughing so hard that this post is dedicated to making yourself feel better about anything that goes wrong in your own wedding planning.

Written by a Matron of Honor regarding her bridezilla:
"She has told me (told, not asked) that I am making a toast, leading the guests in the hokey pokey, going with her to all tastings and to look at limos (do people really do this?), wearing a dress she picked, planning a bachelorette party in another state (in addition to the bridal shower), planning a wedding shower at work (we work in the same place), being her "food runner" (as in I go to the buffet table and fill up plates for her and her husband), and my husband (who is not in the wedding) must go to the site early to set up."


Response from one of the posters:
"My future husband and I really want to prank our wedding party, because he is the King of Pranks. I think I will suggest to him that we ask one of them to lead our guests in the hokey pokey or to be our food runner, just to see if they would actually do it. My guess is they would tell us to go fuck ourselves."


From a future bride keeping her last name:
"I was on the phone with our new landlord recently, and she'd wondered if she'd spelled our names correctly. So I spelled my name for her, and then I spelled my future husband's name for her, and I said 'and it'll be the same after we get married.' I meant that neither of us was changing our name, but she said 'oh, so I can just call you YourFirst HisLast?' ...I realized that she thought that when I said our names would be the same, I meant that we would have the same name after we were married. Now I'm annoyed with her for assuming that the same last name automatically means HIS last name, and annoying with myself for not being clearer and standing up for myself when she was confused. Now I have to put up with her calling me MyFirst HisLast and I won't dare to correct her because I'm a spineless freak."


Response from me:
Seriously? You're annoyed at this woman because you were totally unclear and she assumed that the social convention that's held for hundreds of years was - gasp! - still holding true when that's what you strongly implied? That bitch! But then, it is really hard to say, "oh, no, I meant that we would each be keeping our own names." That's tough, I totally understand what you're scared of. I'd hold you close and comfort you if I could.

Post entitled "Money Tree and Dollar Dance":
"Until recently, I wasn't even aware that either the money tree or the dollar dance existed. Since my fiance and I are VERY broke and having an informal wedding, friends have been telling me that it is okay to do both. The dollar dance for tradition, and then a small money tree placed in a nonchalant place for those who don't wish to dance. It seems to me that both of these are in very bad taste, and I don't want to seem greedy, but we don't even know how we are paying for our planned honeymoon yet (the wedding is sept. 17th) and anything extra would be a huge help. As I said, I don't want to come off as greedy (I already committed one faux paux by putting the registries in the invitations which I didn't know we weren't supposed to do until it was too late) but part of me thinks that anyone that knows us well enough to be at our wedding should know that we are just young and struggling, not trying to take advantage. Maybe it would help to leave a note with the money tree? Or maybe no note at all? ARGGRGRGRGHHH I am starting to get REALLY FREAKIN STRESSED OUT NOW!!!!

Response from me:
I can't believe these things exist. That is absurd. Also, I fixed all the typos but "faux paux," because that was too damn funny. This is what happens when you mix "French" and "rednecks."

Well, I feel better!