Satin & Lace

Showers suck. OK, blanket statements aren't so fair, and I've been to lots of showers that had some nice touches, but let's be realistic--it's not really fun for anyone to sit around for a couple of hours playing the same games over and over again and then watch the bride pretend to be thrilled and surprised by gifts of toasters and blenders that she herself handpicked. Maybe these were more fun in the days before registries?

Not to knock registry gifts--buying stuff that you know the bride and groom need is always fantastic. It's just not the most exciting. Of course, there's one non-registry gift that always spices things up at bridal showers--you guessed it: lingerie. (Or, you didn't guess it, and shame on you, it was a pretty easy one.) A lot of people are squeamish about both giving and getting lingerie, and to that I say "get over it." It's one thing to request that no lingerie be brought to your shower--sure, it's boring, but you asked for it, and your wishes should be respected, even if they're lame. However, unless you've made that request, it is absolutely ridiculous and un-fun for anyone to not hold up lingerie that's been given to you. It's a thoughtful, expensive gift and it deserves its appreciation just like a baking pan.

So let's say you are buying the bride lingerie--how best to go about it? Number one rule of thumb is to make sure you include a gift receipt. The odds that you've perfectly judged the size of the bride's body are not that great. However, to increase your odds of not forcing the bride to exchange everything, try finding out her size beforehand from one of the bridesmaids. (Asking the bride may hint at the date of the shower, something you generally want to avoid if it's a surprise.) Additionally, while corsets and bustiers are definitely fun, the safest bet, especially if you can't get the bride's size, is usually along the lines of a short satin slip--opaque, body-skimming but not hugging, and generally forgiving. No clue what size she is, but thinking she's kind of a big girl? As much as I hate to say this since it goes against everything I believe in, stick to a medium. If she needs to buy a bigger size, let her exchange it herself, unless she has expressly given out her size to bridesmaids or guests as a large or bigger. Think a bride is in between sizes? Try the Intimissee line at Victoria's Secret--a couple of brides have told me that their stuff fits really well, and it all straddles lines like 34A/32B. (However, they don't carry larger than a C so you may want to avoid Victoria's Secret entirely for the busty brides...) Think the bride would be more comfortable with stuff that's a little more modest? Slips, chemises, and nightgowns are great comfortable but sexy alternatives to risque lingerie. Want to back out even further? Pajama outfits, nightshirts, or a cute tank and pants/shorts set are great. If you'd rather buy cotton than satin, try the Gap. Don't like whatever Victoria's Secret's current line is? Think outside the box, and inside the department store. The lingerie is a little more expensive, but go in with a friend and you can find some great stuff at Bloomingdale's or Lord & Taylor by Hanky Panky, Vera Wang, Elle McPherson, Oscar de la Renta, Betsey Johnson, and more.

Not that lingerie is the only alternative to registry gifts--not at all. Bookstores can be a great resource for shower gifts, from the Kama Sutra to a Kosher Cookbook. Another great idea for a shower gift is to buy a magazine subscription for a title you know the bride enjoys--Cosmo, Glamour, In Style, Lucky, Bon Appetit, Cooking Light, The New Yorker, whatever! You can purchase these at Amazon.com, Magazineline.com, EBay.com...wherever. Or you can buy a basket of romantically scented bath stuff, which she can use in her home or on the wedding night. I was even at a shower once where the bride got a $50 gift certificate to Fairway-- interesting choice, and I'm sure it got used! Another idea, seeing as we are talking about Jewesses after all, is of course scarves and/or cute hats.